I cut myself for attention, and I really want to stop(very very very long question, I'm so sorry)?

wow that was a long question, I think I got the gist.. I answered your other question about the toothbrush lol. I really don't know where to start tbh but first things first, you are NOT a bad person! And don't listen to that **** up there! I have felt like you before, wanted something really bad to happen to me just to see how people felt, it's a completely selfish way to feel though if I'm honest and I realise that now. You may not think it but there are alot of people who care about you and wouldn't want to see you hurting your self or worse. You really need to get professional help hun, you may not think it your self but you seem to have depression, because it seems as though it's not just attention your doing it for, it seems to me that you truly are depressed and need medication and a bledy good conversation with someone to let all of your feelings out in a good way, without resorting to hurting your self. I mean come on, I don't even no you and I wouldn't want you hurting your self anymore! xx